Sunday, July 4, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Life ...... is Amazing
Life ….. is amazing !!!!!
I firmly believe that nothing in this world ever happens either by chance or coincidence. Whatever happens is by an invisible design and has a definite purpose and meaning. However it fails our understanding and comprehension as we miss out on their significance. Have you ever realized how every moment in our lives is special and every moment of our existence is a choice that we make about just living, going through the motions of life in a robotic fashion, or seeing and soaking in the amazing in our everyday lives.
Life is a journey, like a journey through the Himalayas with its breath taking views, and it’s worth seeking one’s heart’s desire and never miss a thing that it offers. We miss out, most often, as Paul Coehlo says, “there’s always a gap between our intention and action”. We wake up every morning wishing that the day be good and so shall we be towards others. Good intentions, but on the contrary we get caught up with our own quagmire that we forget those good intentions.
In our constant and a dangerously hurried urge to “achieve” and feel “arrived” at our destination, we find a yawning gap between our desired intention and the resultant action. For we believe that “ the end justifies the means” and not vice versa.
To soak in what we see and not what we look-for, requires a reflective and an introspective disposition on an individual’s part. If we go on a “pause mode” and stop for the world, we will see the amazing in our lives. Have you ever listened to the birds chirping and calling out at the fall of dawn, the dew drops on the leaves of grass, the resplendent colours of flowers in bloom at spring time, the smell of earth after the first rain in summer, the beautiful sun rise on the horizon, the sound of waves and their ceaseless energy, the feeling of waves touching your feet, the innocent smiles on the faces of children who tug along with their heavy school bags in the morning rush hour, the old lady, in her twilight years, carrying a basket load of fresh greens going door-to-door early in the morning with a smile on her face, these are amazing moments in our lives and yet we miss all of them as we presume we do not have the time to soak in all this.
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. We will often find enrichment when we think more of what life has given us and less about what life has taken away. Life is like the ocean waves, it touches you for a moment and leaves you to reflect. But it keeps coming back to you, just to remind you that life is like the crest and the trough of the waves that touch you and recede. It is by invisible design that our lives are made and sitting by the sea , soaking in the patterns of the waves that we realize that life is after all , always, in motion , to a clockwork precision, like the waves. It gets perturbed and develops into a cyclonic storm or a depression only when we do not respect or understand its natural design.
Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope. Our task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it. When we come to terms with life that is created with a purpose and meaning and not by mere chance or coincidence, we learn to love each other without any war of words.
I firmly believe that nothing in this world ever happens either by chance or coincidence. Whatever happens is by an invisible design and has a definite purpose and meaning. However it fails our understanding and comprehension as we miss out on their significance. Have you ever realized how every moment in our lives is special and every moment of our existence is a choice that we make about just living, going through the motions of life in a robotic fashion, or seeing and soaking in the amazing in our everyday lives.
Life is a journey, like a journey through the Himalayas with its breath taking views, and it’s worth seeking one’s heart’s desire and never miss a thing that it offers. We miss out, most often, as Paul Coehlo says, “there’s always a gap between our intention and action”. We wake up every morning wishing that the day be good and so shall we be towards others. Good intentions, but on the contrary we get caught up with our own quagmire that we forget those good intentions.
In our constant and a dangerously hurried urge to “achieve” and feel “arrived” at our destination, we find a yawning gap between our desired intention and the resultant action. For we believe that “ the end justifies the means” and not vice versa.
To soak in what we see and not what we look-for, requires a reflective and an introspective disposition on an individual’s part. If we go on a “pause mode” and stop for the world, we will see the amazing in our lives. Have you ever listened to the birds chirping and calling out at the fall of dawn, the dew drops on the leaves of grass, the resplendent colours of flowers in bloom at spring time, the smell of earth after the first rain in summer, the beautiful sun rise on the horizon, the sound of waves and their ceaseless energy, the feeling of waves touching your feet, the innocent smiles on the faces of children who tug along with their heavy school bags in the morning rush hour, the old lady, in her twilight years, carrying a basket load of fresh greens going door-to-door early in the morning with a smile on her face, these are amazing moments in our lives and yet we miss all of them as we presume we do not have the time to soak in all this.
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. We will often find enrichment when we think more of what life has given us and less about what life has taken away. Life is like the ocean waves, it touches you for a moment and leaves you to reflect. But it keeps coming back to you, just to remind you that life is like the crest and the trough of the waves that touch you and recede. It is by invisible design that our lives are made and sitting by the sea , soaking in the patterns of the waves that we realize that life is after all , always, in motion , to a clockwork precision, like the waves. It gets perturbed and develops into a cyclonic storm or a depression only when we do not respect or understand its natural design.
Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope. Our task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it. When we come to terms with life that is created with a purpose and meaning and not by mere chance or coincidence, we learn to love each other without any war of words.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
All that is left to say!!!
The rains had lashed the city the previous night and fortunately the roads were not slushy and inundated with water. As I walked through the streets to the park, the images were coming back to me. I went in to the park and found my usual bench in the far corner from where I could observe and see the entire park. I was a bit early on that day; the regulars had not arrived yet. As I sat there the images were coming back to me again and it was then that the couple, in their late 60’s arrived with their carry bag containing two glasses of fresh juice. I always felt good to see them every day, for there was certain warmth about them, in the twilight years of their life they are always together, happy, talking loudly about the events that had happened the previous day or about their children who are married and well settled and the problems they face with one of their children. I never had to eves drop into their conversation that has never been my virtue, for they were so loud for the entire park to hear. As the images were creeping in and watching this elderly couple made me ponder and reflect on “all that is left to say”.
I have been waiting for eternity since life turned its back on me and I could never understand why life has never been the way I wanted. Right from my childhood I had nothing left to say because of the fear of being reprimanded, misunderstood and alienated .Everything I wanted to have for myself, cherish for a longer duration, always left me, be it my career, my love, my self-worth and self-esteem, my individuality, my freedom of thought and expression, children I grew fond of. It pains me immensely to look at my predicament because I do not understand why it has left me high and dry with nothing left to say.
Am fond of children, I like their smiles, laughter, innocence, their inquisitive mind, their playfulness, their energy levels, and their ability to reciprocate abundant love and affection. There have been many “little Gods” in my life starting with my niece and nephews, friends’ children and this little fellow who literally grew up in my arms right from the time he was six months old. He brought meaning and purpose into my life which was lost in my marriage.. The four and a half years that I have known him, are the most memorable moments in my life. He was always there, on my walks, when I go shopping, driving, watching POGO and Discovery Channel together. He had such a wonderful mind, he always used to check me if I get mad or angry. Just a smile and a word from him asking as to why am I getting mad or angry?. Or the times that we used to look into the sky star-gazing , and the innumerable questions that he used to fire at me. There was always this “why is this like that? “, question that kept me on my toes, for I had to be factual in answering his questions. But all that remains today is memories as I do not know how he is? The thought that I know where he is and not able to meet him leaves me with nothing to say.
Same is the case with love, friendship and companionship. They have been there in my life, like they do in others too, but briefly though ,leaving me like a candle in the rain. All that I gave was my love, my integrity, my commitment, my heart and soul. I have always wondered why I have made myself so “vulnerable” by being kind, soft-spoken, affectionate ,caring and loving? Are these forgotten qualities in the world or have I taken people for granted? Why do people want love and yet like to be detached from the person who exhibits love? I guess the word has different connotations to different individuals. But for me love is not a feeling to possess something or someone. It is a way of showing that I care, empathise, understand, show warmth and walk a mile to make others happy and feel wanted and make others feel that they are not alone in this world.
Being that as it may, on introspection I realize that I have missed a lot and messed a few, be it a relationship, a career so on and so forth. Messed because I stood my ground when integrity was compromised, could not bear the hypocrisy around, could not wear the mask that I was expected to wear, could not toe the line of conformity, could not accept mediocrity in all forms, could not bear the contrived and convoluted attitudes, and could not lose my identity and self-worth and above all was misunderstood most often. But where has all this left me? How have people perceived me over the years? Looking at life in a three dimensional space, the world around me, the people around me and myself in the midst of all this, it dawns on me that while I have not been what I should have been as per others expectations of me, but I have more than gained in experience, my understanding of the world and self contrary to the belief that I have messed so much. While life has been a great leveler and helped me mellow down and go through a paradigm shift in the way I see life and others, am still left with nothing to say.
End of the day “all that is left to say “ is that I still long for love, compassion, understanding, companionship, fellowship, bon-homie, and a greater sense of togetherness.
.
The rains had lashed the city the previous night and fortunately the roads were not slushy and inundated with water. As I walked through the streets to the park, the images were coming back to me. I went in to the park and found my usual bench in the far corner from where I could observe and see the entire park. I was a bit early on that day; the regulars had not arrived yet. As I sat there the images were coming back to me again and it was then that the couple, in their late 60’s arrived with their carry bag containing two glasses of fresh juice. I always felt good to see them every day, for there was certain warmth about them, in the twilight years of their life they are always together, happy, talking loudly about the events that had happened the previous day or about their children who are married and well settled and the problems they face with one of their children. I never had to eves drop into their conversation that has never been my virtue, for they were so loud for the entire park to hear. As the images were creeping in and watching this elderly couple made me ponder and reflect on “all that is left to say”.
I have been waiting for eternity since life turned its back on me and I could never understand why life has never been the way I wanted. Right from my childhood I had nothing left to say because of the fear of being reprimanded, misunderstood and alienated .Everything I wanted to have for myself, cherish for a longer duration, always left me, be it my career, my love, my self-worth and self-esteem, my individuality, my freedom of thought and expression, children I grew fond of. It pains me immensely to look at my predicament because I do not understand why it has left me high and dry with nothing left to say.
Am fond of children, I like their smiles, laughter, innocence, their inquisitive mind, their playfulness, their energy levels, and their ability to reciprocate abundant love and affection. There have been many “little Gods” in my life starting with my niece and nephews, friends’ children and this little fellow who literally grew up in my arms right from the time he was six months old. He brought meaning and purpose into my life which was lost in my marriage.. The four and a half years that I have known him, are the most memorable moments in my life. He was always there, on my walks, when I go shopping, driving, watching POGO and Discovery Channel together. He had such a wonderful mind, he always used to check me if I get mad or angry. Just a smile and a word from him asking as to why am I getting mad or angry?. Or the times that we used to look into the sky star-gazing , and the innumerable questions that he used to fire at me. There was always this “why is this like that? “, question that kept me on my toes, for I had to be factual in answering his questions. But all that remains today is memories as I do not know how he is? The thought that I know where he is and not able to meet him leaves me with nothing to say.
Same is the case with love, friendship and companionship. They have been there in my life, like they do in others too, but briefly though ,leaving me like a candle in the rain. All that I gave was my love, my integrity, my commitment, my heart and soul. I have always wondered why I have made myself so “vulnerable” by being kind, soft-spoken, affectionate ,caring and loving? Are these forgotten qualities in the world or have I taken people for granted? Why do people want love and yet like to be detached from the person who exhibits love? I guess the word has different connotations to different individuals. But for me love is not a feeling to possess something or someone. It is a way of showing that I care, empathise, understand, show warmth and walk a mile to make others happy and feel wanted and make others feel that they are not alone in this world.
Being that as it may, on introspection I realize that I have missed a lot and messed a few, be it a relationship, a career so on and so forth. Messed because I stood my ground when integrity was compromised, could not bear the hypocrisy around, could not wear the mask that I was expected to wear, could not toe the line of conformity, could not accept mediocrity in all forms, could not bear the contrived and convoluted attitudes, and could not lose my identity and self-worth and above all was misunderstood most often. But where has all this left me? How have people perceived me over the years? Looking at life in a three dimensional space, the world around me, the people around me and myself in the midst of all this, it dawns on me that while I have not been what I should have been as per others expectations of me, but I have more than gained in experience, my understanding of the world and self contrary to the belief that I have messed so much. While life has been a great leveler and helped me mellow down and go through a paradigm shift in the way I see life and others, am still left with nothing to say.
End of the day “all that is left to say “ is that I still long for love, compassion, understanding, companionship, fellowship, bon-homie, and a greater sense of togetherness.
.
Love is Humility……..
I have often tried to define and understand the word Love ,which means different things to different people. I have often times wondered what is true love? Ask anyone, What is Love? And the immediate answer would often reflect our deepest longings that shape what love is, flawless, fervor and fulfillment. For me love has always meant to be a feeling of oneness with others and is based on the understanding that we are not separate but essentially one and loving others is exactly the same as loving oneself. Love is a profound being and serene.
The basis of love is humility. Love does not have any arrogance or self-centered attitudes, .Love embodies selflessness and the wish to be of service without expecting anything in return, the purer the wish and our motivation, the more beautiful the love we give and receive.
Love is a source of energy that flows through human life. This fundamental energy is love , it is the power to nurture each other and help one another improve. The very presence of others is in itself love
The significance of love is to be found in the fact that we who have separated call out to each other trying to reunite and create greater happiness together. Human beings could not improve themselves if no one else existed, imagine being in a Robinson Crusoe situation.
The essence of love is to be found in the soul's desire to be reunited with God. As we live our individual lives with our different personalities ‘ we remember the ultimate parent.
Love can only be understood from the actions it prompts. When we bear with the failings and weaknesses of others, divine love reveals itself (Ephesians 4.2). At all costs, this love compels us to give so that we alleviate the suffering of others. Instead of seeking to fulfill our emotional and physical needs (receiving), we humbly give of ourselves ( 1 Peter 3.8-9).
In a response to, “What is Love?” it is erroneous to say “love is God.” God created love, not the reverse. He deliberately chose to express His love to us -- revealing the very nature of God Himself.
• God Is Sacrificial – God initiated an eternal love relationship with us before we loved Him ( 1 John 4.10)
• God Is Merciful – God extended the wealth of His kindness even when we were undeserving of His love ( Ephesians 2.4-5)
• God Is Faithful – Even in the most extreme circumstances, God’s love for us remains secure ( Romans 8.35,38-39) He did not need to create the universe. He made that choice as an expression of His ultimate love for us. Then God created us a certain way -- to experience all that perfect love was meant to be ( Song of Songs 4.9-10,8.6, 1 John 4.7-12)
“ . . . May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is” ( Ephesians 3.17-18)
The power that nurtures this everlasting life is the power of God's love.The very fact that energy lives forever is proof that the energy of love is being showered upon us eternally. For life to be eternal there must be a permanent source of energy the power of God that allows us to live eternally This is the very beginning of love.
Love is the power to nurture one another. An obstacle to love is anything that goes against these two ideas.
All negative emotions such as dissatisfaction, worry anger jealousy, envy, anguish have their roots in the belief that human life is limited to this world. To awaken to true love it is necessary to know that life is eternal.
The power to improve one another is in fact an attitude of giving to one another and a wish to benefit others. This I have understood is What Love is ….
I have often tried to define and understand the word Love ,which means different things to different people. I have often times wondered what is true love? Ask anyone, What is Love? And the immediate answer would often reflect our deepest longings that shape what love is, flawless, fervor and fulfillment. For me love has always meant to be a feeling of oneness with others and is based on the understanding that we are not separate but essentially one and loving others is exactly the same as loving oneself. Love is a profound being and serene.
The basis of love is humility. Love does not have any arrogance or self-centered attitudes, .Love embodies selflessness and the wish to be of service without expecting anything in return, the purer the wish and our motivation, the more beautiful the love we give and receive.
Love is a source of energy that flows through human life. This fundamental energy is love , it is the power to nurture each other and help one another improve. The very presence of others is in itself love
The significance of love is to be found in the fact that we who have separated call out to each other trying to reunite and create greater happiness together. Human beings could not improve themselves if no one else existed, imagine being in a Robinson Crusoe situation.
The essence of love is to be found in the soul's desire to be reunited with God. As we live our individual lives with our different personalities ‘ we remember the ultimate parent.
Love can only be understood from the actions it prompts. When we bear with the failings and weaknesses of others, divine love reveals itself (Ephesians 4.2). At all costs, this love compels us to give so that we alleviate the suffering of others. Instead of seeking to fulfill our emotional and physical needs (receiving), we humbly give of ourselves ( 1 Peter 3.8-9).
In a response to, “What is Love?” it is erroneous to say “love is God.” God created love, not the reverse. He deliberately chose to express His love to us -- revealing the very nature of God Himself.
• God Is Sacrificial – God initiated an eternal love relationship with us before we loved Him ( 1 John 4.10)
• God Is Merciful – God extended the wealth of His kindness even when we were undeserving of His love ( Ephesians 2.4-5)
• God Is Faithful – Even in the most extreme circumstances, God’s love for us remains secure ( Romans 8.35,38-39) He did not need to create the universe. He made that choice as an expression of His ultimate love for us. Then God created us a certain way -- to experience all that perfect love was meant to be ( Song of Songs 4.9-10,8.6, 1 John 4.7-12)
“ . . . May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is” ( Ephesians 3.17-18)
The power that nurtures this everlasting life is the power of God's love.The very fact that energy lives forever is proof that the energy of love is being showered upon us eternally. For life to be eternal there must be a permanent source of energy the power of God that allows us to live eternally This is the very beginning of love.
Love is the power to nurture one another. An obstacle to love is anything that goes against these two ideas.
All negative emotions such as dissatisfaction, worry anger jealousy, envy, anguish have their roots in the belief that human life is limited to this world. To awaken to true love it is necessary to know that life is eternal.
The power to improve one another is in fact an attitude of giving to one another and a wish to benefit others. This I have understood is What Love is ….
Monday, March 8, 2010
Coffee and Zen Meditation
Sipping a hot cup of coffee at the Drive-in, a friend of mine and I used to discuss many interesting books and writers and on one of those occasions were talking about the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, one of the best sellers, and were trying to understand what Zen really meant and never ever came to an understanding or an agreement, while the coffee cups used to pile up on our table. It was during one of those sessions we pondered over the question Is there a relationship between Coffee and Zen? If there is, would there be a paradox in comparing Coffee with Zen, especially when the caffeine is strong, addictive, yet soothing and relaxing contrary to Zen which is strong, powerful and yet gentle? . This set us thinking and during the search stumbled upon a wonderful book “ Godel Escher Bach “ by Douglas Hofstadter wherein he discusses Zen Koans and explains as to how to perceive reality outside the normal confines of individual experience and acquiesce to a few paradoxical questions, as we asked ourselves about Coffee and Zen, and by not forming a “ a priori” reasoning, a strategy he terms as “ unasking”.
Like the lithographs and etchings of Escher, a Zen koan, as we explored, has no logical or rational or an easy answer, it is a riddle. Like for instance, if we were to ask why is the football round or for that matter why is the Universe the way it is? There are no easy and immediate answers to them, however if you ruminate over on this over a cup of coffee, the answer may unfold. But as long as you presume you know the answer, understand what is significant in your life, know for sure the right from the wrong, and are certain about what life is all about and what it has to offer, your mind is not calm and peaceful, for it will continue to pursue more options and answers. When you are after something, you never find it, like for instance peace, joy, happiness, love and affection. But when you think you do not know the answers to any of the questions that crop up in your mind, the mind is calm and peaceful and helps you go through an inner experience that leads to intuition, understanding and enlightenment, without any words to describe the experience that you go through.
This we realized is the essence of Zen as we meditated over these questions sipping a cup of coffee high on caffeine . It dawned on us both that our mind seems to be here in the present and yet it is wandering in different locations and directions at the same time and Coffee, like Zen meditation, really helps in gathering our thoughts and focus on our inner selves. Sipping coffee, sitting in a quiet café, and looking inwardly, clears all the cobwebs in our mind, and soothes our senses and the mind. This introspection relaxes and rejuvenates our mind ,is what we began to experience and understand.
Sipping a hot cup of coffee at the Drive-in, a friend of mine and I used to discuss many interesting books and writers and on one of those occasions were talking about the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, one of the best sellers, and were trying to understand what Zen really meant and never ever came to an understanding or an agreement, while the coffee cups used to pile up on our table. It was during one of those sessions we pondered over the question Is there a relationship between Coffee and Zen? If there is, would there be a paradox in comparing Coffee with Zen, especially when the caffeine is strong, addictive, yet soothing and relaxing contrary to Zen which is strong, powerful and yet gentle? . This set us thinking and during the search stumbled upon a wonderful book “ Godel Escher Bach “ by Douglas Hofstadter wherein he discusses Zen Koans and explains as to how to perceive reality outside the normal confines of individual experience and acquiesce to a few paradoxical questions, as we asked ourselves about Coffee and Zen, and by not forming a “ a priori” reasoning, a strategy he terms as “ unasking”.
Like the lithographs and etchings of Escher, a Zen koan, as we explored, has no logical or rational or an easy answer, it is a riddle. Like for instance, if we were to ask why is the football round or for that matter why is the Universe the way it is? There are no easy and immediate answers to them, however if you ruminate over on this over a cup of coffee, the answer may unfold. But as long as you presume you know the answer, understand what is significant in your life, know for sure the right from the wrong, and are certain about what life is all about and what it has to offer, your mind is not calm and peaceful, for it will continue to pursue more options and answers. When you are after something, you never find it, like for instance peace, joy, happiness, love and affection. But when you think you do not know the answers to any of the questions that crop up in your mind, the mind is calm and peaceful and helps you go through an inner experience that leads to intuition, understanding and enlightenment, without any words to describe the experience that you go through.
This we realized is the essence of Zen as we meditated over these questions sipping a cup of coffee high on caffeine . It dawned on us both that our mind seems to be here in the present and yet it is wandering in different locations and directions at the same time and Coffee, like Zen meditation, really helps in gathering our thoughts and focus on our inner selves. Sipping coffee, sitting in a quiet café, and looking inwardly, clears all the cobwebs in our mind, and soothes our senses and the mind. This introspection relaxes and rejuvenates our mind ,is what we began to experience and understand.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Making the Difference : Conformity or Assertiveness?
Making the Difference: Conformity or Assertiveness?
I have always felt that we live in a Pavlovian world, for we live our lives with the conditioned response to the demands made upon us by others and by a man-made environment, limiting autonomous creative and free-flowing intercourse among people and their environment.The individual freedom that we realize through personal interdependence on people and the environment gets diluted when you are not allowed to be yourself.This predicament can only be changed if we as individuals awaken to the fact that each person’s world is determined by his own perspective of the environment ,which most often we take it as given and certain. The conventional perspective constrains and prevents individuals’ from being themselves and looks at the world around them in newer and meaningful ways.
When you live in a convivial environment, that is dynamic, being individualistic poses quite a few problems. The individual freedom, freedom of thought and expression gets diluted as we experience a paradigm shift in the way we look at events and people around us and put others before self. While the urge to be ME grows stronger, the very objective of being assertive loses its significance when empathy, understanding and compassion get subsumed in our conscious. This metamorphosis dictates our behavior, attitude, thoughts, actions, as it facilitates a smooth and stress-free life.
Am I then advocating conformity as a rule rather than an exception? Can conformity nurture self-expression and freedom of thought and action? Is it a guiding principle that has to be followed? While the answer is non-affirmative, my personal experiences have made me walk the tight-rope and made me stick to the acceptable “norm of conformity” to my own chagrin and peril.
It is this very adherence to the “norm of conformity” that has made me run into many rough weathers ‘in life. This adherence is taken as my weakness, and vulnerability rather than my willingness to forsake self to appease others. The empathy that flows out of this is neither understood nor appreciated. We see instances of these in our everyday lives making us ponder over the issue of “conformity” and “assertiveness”. When you transcend from the assertive mode to the conformity mode, I must agree that you are looked upon as a convivial person.
This brings us to the question isn’t this self-transcending capability is what we need to build a convivial society? Or is it the way our self-assertive tendency takes the upper hand to establish its supremacy? The answer to this can be traced in history, in fact in our own backyard. Wasn’t this self-transcending attitude of Mahatma Gandhi a vehicle for his self-assertiveness which in the end set us free? Or Mother Theresa to achieve what she set out to?
On introspection, I have come to understand that being self-assertive requires accountability and the courage of conviction contrary to the belief that those “who want to break free” are blind to their environment and people around them. To achieve equilibrium in our lives, and relationships, as I have come to terms with, requires a paradigm shift , for when we start to see the world around us through the eyes of others, it brings with it immense joy and smiles on faces. Isn’t this what we all strive for !!!!!!
I have always felt that we live in a Pavlovian world, for we live our lives with the conditioned response to the demands made upon us by others and by a man-made environment, limiting autonomous creative and free-flowing intercourse among people and their environment.The individual freedom that we realize through personal interdependence on people and the environment gets diluted when you are not allowed to be yourself.This predicament can only be changed if we as individuals awaken to the fact that each person’s world is determined by his own perspective of the environment ,which most often we take it as given and certain. The conventional perspective constrains and prevents individuals’ from being themselves and looks at the world around them in newer and meaningful ways.
When you live in a convivial environment, that is dynamic, being individualistic poses quite a few problems. The individual freedom, freedom of thought and expression gets diluted as we experience a paradigm shift in the way we look at events and people around us and put others before self. While the urge to be ME grows stronger, the very objective of being assertive loses its significance when empathy, understanding and compassion get subsumed in our conscious. This metamorphosis dictates our behavior, attitude, thoughts, actions, as it facilitates a smooth and stress-free life.
Am I then advocating conformity as a rule rather than an exception? Can conformity nurture self-expression and freedom of thought and action? Is it a guiding principle that has to be followed? While the answer is non-affirmative, my personal experiences have made me walk the tight-rope and made me stick to the acceptable “norm of conformity” to my own chagrin and peril.
It is this very adherence to the “norm of conformity” that has made me run into many rough weathers ‘in life. This adherence is taken as my weakness, and vulnerability rather than my willingness to forsake self to appease others. The empathy that flows out of this is neither understood nor appreciated. We see instances of these in our everyday lives making us ponder over the issue of “conformity” and “assertiveness”. When you transcend from the assertive mode to the conformity mode, I must agree that you are looked upon as a convivial person.
This brings us to the question isn’t this self-transcending capability is what we need to build a convivial society? Or is it the way our self-assertive tendency takes the upper hand to establish its supremacy? The answer to this can be traced in history, in fact in our own backyard. Wasn’t this self-transcending attitude of Mahatma Gandhi a vehicle for his self-assertiveness which in the end set us free? Or Mother Theresa to achieve what she set out to?
On introspection, I have come to understand that being self-assertive requires accountability and the courage of conviction contrary to the belief that those “who want to break free” are blind to their environment and people around them. To achieve equilibrium in our lives, and relationships, as I have come to terms with, requires a paradigm shift , for when we start to see the world around us through the eyes of others, it brings with it immense joy and smiles on faces. Isn’t this what we all strive for !!!!!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Being that as it may !!!!!!
Being that as it may
Being that as it may…. The phrase takes me back in time… the time when I was at the University pursuing my post graduation in economics…..it’s a phrase, one of my favourite professor used most often…..to stress a point…to scuttle a discussion..to get out of tight corners…. He used it most effectively. Since then the phrase has stuck on me. And as I reflect, it truly sums up the life around us… we all tend to use the phrase in our day to day lives without even knowing that we’re using the power of the phrase so intensely.
Being that as it may… you may be wondering as to what am I talking about…( I have already used it to my advantage now isn’t it?) Being that as it may allows you to get on with life without getting bogged down by any adversity, ennui, tribulations, apprehensions, and any predicament that you may be in at any given point in time. Imagine, a situation like, for instance , a relationship that you have had for a long time and cherished suddenly leaves you high and dry bringing along with it loneliness, depression, anger, helplessness, a vacuum and a sense of futility… Most often this feeling lasts for a considerable period of time, but then as life unfolds and you get caught up with its quagmire, you tend to say, being that as it may, I still need to get on with life and the phase vanishes as it came.
Being that as it may…..We live in a society so full of contradictions, pretentions, masks, hypocrisy, permissiveness. There are times you tend to get exhausted by all this, especially when it affects the way you want to lead life; when they come in the way of excercising your rights; when you demand certain things to go the way you want them; when you want to assert yourself ; when people jump queues ; when someone annoys you while driving; when you are ignored for a promotion you are entitled to; when there are expectations on you to perform and deliver; when you need to keep up with peer pressure; when you cannot be yourself; but then most often you tend to tag the line, as there is no way you could control and unfold events around you to your liking and satisfaction, and say being that as it may and go on.
Being that as it may, imagine a situation, when someone close to you passes away. It leaves a vacuum in your life, you feel that the entire world has crashed on you; there’s a feeling of nothingness; you start to recall all the great moments you have shared with that person and even realize what a wonderful person that he was, but then all this lasts till the person is laid to rest or even for a certain period of time . The memory of the person remains lingers on for a while. But then being that as it may, you get on with life isn’t?
Being that as it may…. The phrase takes me back in time… the time when I was at the University pursuing my post graduation in economics…..it’s a phrase, one of my favourite professor used most often…..to stress a point…to scuttle a discussion..to get out of tight corners…. He used it most effectively. Since then the phrase has stuck on me. And as I reflect, it truly sums up the life around us… we all tend to use the phrase in our day to day lives without even knowing that we’re using the power of the phrase so intensely.
Being that as it may… you may be wondering as to what am I talking about…( I have already used it to my advantage now isn’t it?) Being that as it may allows you to get on with life without getting bogged down by any adversity, ennui, tribulations, apprehensions, and any predicament that you may be in at any given point in time. Imagine, a situation like, for instance , a relationship that you have had for a long time and cherished suddenly leaves you high and dry bringing along with it loneliness, depression, anger, helplessness, a vacuum and a sense of futility… Most often this feeling lasts for a considerable period of time, but then as life unfolds and you get caught up with its quagmire, you tend to say, being that as it may, I still need to get on with life and the phase vanishes as it came.
Being that as it may…..We live in a society so full of contradictions, pretentions, masks, hypocrisy, permissiveness. There are times you tend to get exhausted by all this, especially when it affects the way you want to lead life; when they come in the way of excercising your rights; when you demand certain things to go the way you want them; when you want to assert yourself ; when people jump queues ; when someone annoys you while driving; when you are ignored for a promotion you are entitled to; when there are expectations on you to perform and deliver; when you need to keep up with peer pressure; when you cannot be yourself; but then most often you tend to tag the line, as there is no way you could control and unfold events around you to your liking and satisfaction, and say being that as it may and go on.
Being that as it may, imagine a situation, when someone close to you passes away. It leaves a vacuum in your life, you feel that the entire world has crashed on you; there’s a feeling of nothingness; you start to recall all the great moments you have shared with that person and even realize what a wonderful person that he was, but then all this lasts till the person is laid to rest or even for a certain period of time . The memory of the person remains lingers on for a while. But then being that as it may, you get on with life isn’t?
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